WHAT was that I said about nothing could be as bad as yesterday?!?! I think I said “I’m done” and “I want to go home” at least 10 times yesterday. In all honestly, I really AM ready to go home.
Yesterday was SUPPOSED to be a little easier than day 4. We were supposed to hike 1.5-2.0 miles on the trail, with ¾ of it being a steep incline. Check. Then we were to go off-trail to get to the top of a peak. Check. It was supposed to be a gradual incline. Gradual?? An hour after going off trail we reached the summit. It was breath-taking. It was absolutely beautiful. I wanted to stay there overnight. We were given that option, but everyone else wanted to go to camp by the lake so we didn’t have to hike at all today. Fine – whatever. We then had to hike 1.5 miles down the mountain to the lake. Easy enough, right?? Three miles later we’re scrambling over boulders with our 50 pound packs. We hurried down the initial ridge because it started thundering. I was in pain. I was so tired I was stumbling. I was scared. I was frustrated. I was disappointed. I was ready to bite the head off of the next person who complained because THEY were the ones who wanted to do this hike tonight instead of staying on the ridge. I was feeling very alone. I was leader for the day, but with everyone racing down the hill at their own pace, it was impossible. I think I did fine up until we reached the summit of the ridge. It was all downhill from there – no pun intended.
I twisted my ankle in a mole hole as we raced down the ridge. Then, as we started scrambling over the boulders, I hurt my knee – several times – on the same leg as the ankle. I was in excruciating pain. I wanted to stop, sit down on a rock, cry, and demand that they carry me out of this place. But, since that was highly unlikely, I tried my hardest to suck it up and keep going. That worked till we started up and across more boulders. “It’s just over that ridge” was said 3 times. After ridge 3, I STILL didn’t see a lake. Jeff told me if it got too bad to drop my pack and he’d come back for it. One girl had already done so. Another was crying off and on as we climbed. Another was questioning the safety and sanity of what we were doing. The other two were loving every minute of it. Go figure. Without the pack and minus the pain, I’d have loved it too.
We stared going uphill again. With our packs. Over the rocks. Jeff stopped everyone and told them to drop their packs and keep climbing. Ryan came and took my pack from me. I was MUCH better at that point and even started to help others, trying to laugh and enjoy it as much as I could despite the pain. We then got back to our packs and had to go on up a slight slant of rocks. I was okay for about 10 minutes. Then I just hit a wall. I couldn’t take another step. I looked up at Ryan, tears streamed down my face and I said “Ryan – I’m so done with this pack.” He said “Drop that brick!” I smiled through the tears and pain and Kevin helped me get rid of the pack. We were maybe 300 yards from the end of the rocks, so I knew the guys wouldn’t have to carry my pack far, but I still felt bad. However, once again, without the weight of the pack, I was fine. I enjoyed bouldering across. Betsy was still struggling a bit, so I stayed back with her as the others went on. Step by step I led the way to the end. We slowly made our way to the big rock. At some point I started feeling very dizzy and lightheaded. I hadn’t eaten or had water in hours. I mentioned it to Ryan as he got back to us from shuttling packs. By the way – only two people ended up carrying their packs the whole way across the rocks. It was TOUGH. By far the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life. Anyway, Ryan jumps to his pack, grabs some trail mix and has Betsy and me eat some before taking another step. Then, he jets off with two packs, hopping across rocks. Show-off. Jeff comes back to us. I knew I could have been in camp by this point, but Betsy needed me. I knew I could help her while Jeff & Ryan finished shuffling the packs to camp and helped the group set up camp. So, I went slow and tried to enjoy the sunset. Any other time it would have been spectacular. When Jeff gets back to us he grabbed a Nalgene from my pack and makes us drink. The three of us finished off the whole bottle in a few minutes. We were maybe 10 minutes from camp at this point. I started to move Betsy a little faster. We FINALLY made it to the end of the rocks. Jeff led us into camp and I stumbled to a rock and just sat down. I couldn’t do a thing. I just sat there. Jeff came over to me to see if I was okay and asked if I wanted to go down to the water with him. I nodded and followed him to the lake. When we got there, Jeff dove in. I thought it looked pretty inviting, so I planned to wade in. I got tripped up on a rock and ended up fully in and soaked. It felt SO good. It was SO cold but very refreshing. I got out, dried off, got my boots back on and grabbed my water bottle. Jeff and I talked on the way back into camp.
I asked him if he & Ryan were as frustrated about the day as we were. He said yes. He told me that they never intended to have a day like that but knew we’d had to get to the lake. There was no other option. He also said he was so thankful that the campsite was right at the end of the rocks. I laughed and said if we’d had to hike more after the rocks that he & Ryan would have had a mutiny on their hands. He agreed.
So Jeff and Wendy fixed dinner. I didn’t think I was hungry or that I even wanted to try to eat. Ryan helped me fix my tarp. At dinner, Jeff just spooned a spoon into everyone’s bowl. I ate what he gave me – and it was actually pretty good. During dinner, we processed the day. The guys had built a campfire. It was nice. We started relating things from the day and from the course to our lives in general. I just sat and listened – trying to stay awake. Around 11 – we went to bed. I didn’t sleep great, but it was better than the previous two nights.
I’m still in a lot of pain, but we don’t have to hike today. We’re having an easy morning – swimming in the lake, etc. Around 10 AM they are going to put us on our solo spots. We have a choice of 10 AM – 8 PM or 10 AM – 8 AM. I am really thinking I want to do the full 22 hours of solo. I think I need it right now. After yesterday, I think I can actually get through it too. We’ll see.
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