Today was SO much harder than I ever imagined it would be. Before we even got to the trail with our packs I was ready to go home.
When we met at the airport I was still weepy after saying goodbye to my boys one last time. The thought of not seeing them or even being able to talk to them for a week was unbearable. A couple of the girls noticed that I was struggling to hide the emotions and were very sympathetic and understanding. Turns out another girl had left a 2 year-old boy at home. The rest had kids that were older or no kids at all.
During the 2 ½ hour van ride, most people talked quite a bit. We weren’t allowed to talk about our careers/jobs, so it was funny to hear people stumble along as they tried to converse without saying where they worked. We got to Yosemite Park and grabbed our water and cameras as the instructors piled us out of the van and up a trail to Sentinel’s Dome. As we walked, some continued talking. Others started huffing and puffing at the change in elevation. Once we got to the top of the dome we could see Yosemite Falls, Half Dome, El Capitan, Nevada Falls, and the area we’d be backpacking in. It was tough to go from sea level to the top of the 8000 foot dome, but totally worth it. One weird thing that happened at the top was we watched a squirrel attack a baby ground squirrel. It was violent, but part of the circle of life. Some of the girls were really bothered by the event. I have to admit as I watched the mother ground squirrel try to fight off the bigger squirrel and then mourn over the loss of her baby, it was sad.
We left Sentinel’s Dome and went to the Bridal Veil Campground. There, we had lunch waiting on us and were then divided into two groups. My group consisted of leaders Jeff and Ryan, a girl named Jen that I’d ridden to Yosemite beside in the van, Kevin – from Mechanicsburg, PA - our only guy and one of our older two participants, Betsy – ALSO from Mechanicsburg, PA - the oldest participant on this course ever, Kristi – from Monterey, California, Wendy – from NYC, and me. All but Betsy had previous experience on an Outward Bound or other similar course. The other group had Paul from Houston, Bev & Sue from NY, Margaret from CO, Kerry from Boston, and leaders Jason – who met us at the airport, and John – an Outward Bound veteran.
As we packed our gear I got VERY frustrated. I’d had no trouble going through my stuff and leaving things behind, but even with less than the minimum required gear, it wasn’t fitting. I had two group fuel cans, a group pot & pan, a bag of bagels, and a huge bear can filled with food. I’d never carried so much stuff on a one-week backpacking trip in my life. No matter how I tried I could NOT get the stuff into my backpack. I finally had to walk away. I walked to the bathroom at the campground and just let the frustration take hold. I was trying not to cry but it was useless. I was missing my boys already, tired, frustrated from the pack, and wondering what in the world I was doing there. A couple of other girls – Bev & Sue from the other group and Kristi from my group also came in the bathroom, and they helped me calm down and let me know they were just as frustrated. Kristi and I walked back to our packs and she & Ryan helped me cram all 55 pounds of gear into the pack.
My group loaded into the van and headed to the Mono Meadow trailhead. As I watched Lea – the van driver – pull away, I wanted to cry again. There went my last chance to escape and go home. Once we started walking though, I was absolutely fine, though my pack was very heavy and uncomfortable. We hiked about two hours. There were a lot of down trees and burnt areas. The instructors made the decision to camp on top of a granite slab at the top of a ridge. Then a bombshell… Ryan and Jeff said “no tarps tonight.” I almost lost it. It was bad enough coming on this trip being told we only had tarps, no tents. Now their telling me I get nothing but my sleeping bag and pad and the wide open wilderness. I am trying to hide my discomfort and am going to go help set up camp. If I survive the night, I’ll write more tomorrow.
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